i call myself that.. but i don't know if i am. hmm. my throat is totally busted.. its in a horrible state, i sound like a man, and i can't sing along to my mp3 songs.. :cry: well. my colors still arn't fixed yet, so i'll have to deal with the Easter setting, so you have to too. k, like promised i'll elaborate on JJC's orientation. well.. can't say i wasn't cynical at first, which i was. really, just had this obtuse stubborness to be enthu and stuff.. but eventually it bit me, and now i know all the cheers. ^^, guess, its really not that bad... evnth the badminton ppl just didn't even want me. haiz. btw, its was CCA openhouse today! lol. so my pockets was loaded with cute FreeBies and stuff. :D right. will elaborate on that later. neway, i think i've really bonded with my OG's girls.. they're all a bunch of sweethearts, esp close to Isabelle, Sarah W., LinTing, and JiaXin. lol. i just love them all to bits. and of course Adelynn and ShuMin. well, so it was awsome, and there was the whole issue with the [cuteshortoglwhonevergive sup] haha, which i think avoids me now! haha. than again... well, i'm waiting for the contact list, but apparently our OGL is too preoccupied. *hinthint* --- and sarah t. good luck with him.. it seems to be going well.. haha i'm just saying cause i remeber that night :D kk, there's alot more to say, but i don't want to type soo much.. and my throat is really killing me.. so on to CCA.
they call me insane, and frankly i agreed. I've signed up for squash, ELDDS, CLDDS, softball, touchrugby, band, ODAC, and tried out for badminton. hahah. i have absouletly no idea where this is going to lead me... but i'm definately opting out for squash and CLDDS. [did those out of horrifying PEER PRESSURE and squash was on a whim] . if anything, i'd really go for one of the sports.. as my core cca.. or band, than ELDDS as my club type thingy.. i still don't know about ODAC. cause i signed up totally for kayaking and rockclimbing.. and tt's kind of it.. i'm just boggled that once i get into the CCA i wont want to leave. lol. oh well. i keep haveing the feeling that i'm going to cough up blood... sigh. i'm sick.
my blog is broken. it just crashed and died. all i wanted to do was to change its colors and it just died. itd be a miracle if you can see this. i got a hell lot to talk about my JJC orientation. but not with this shitty layout i got now, will try to get it fixed soon! WILL WILL! now, for a cheer! I feel so good! uh, i feel so good! oh i feel so, oh i feel so, oh i feel so good! uh uh uh! hahahahah.. i jz had to do that. i know ^^
well, she's not really my girl, but more like my closest girl friend. not romantically linked, clear those thoughts dammit! this is for her. because i haven't been mentioning her lately, and i figured its only right if i were to do that. ^o^ well. how to say. eventhough we're in different skools now, UNFORTUNATELY, i really hope we can stay like we were in sec skool. sometimes i really miss those days... where everybody knows everybody and there's hardly any animosity, or ambiguity. and u don't gotta be pressured to do anything or yeah you know. i treasure those times... silly, no matter how sporadic moments; songs we sang together, jokes we corned together. haiz. always stay like this! love ya MG. must emphasis here. MUST keep in touch. :D
everything is bad. well. i just feel so incomplete. there's this hollowness inside that i cannot cannot fill. its not love, its not acadamic success. its something that i can't find. i mean. duh. that's why its not there. regrets. full of them. i don't like them, too many, and the nostalgia of it is painful. chalet was good. don't want to talk about it. thinking about it will pollute and tarnish the silver bubble of joy it lives in now. MY THOUGHT ARE OVERKILL. that never fails to piss me off. i have this feeling like if i actually die, it'd be due to schizophrenia or some thing. i'll go crazy. its just waiting to find its oppourtune moment to set off.
when i read Shanghai Baby, i figured it'd be just another one of those books with overdramatised sexual situations and whatnot. but instead... it cut me with the rawness of its story and the portrayal. femisnism and asian influences aside, LOVE was the vogue. The stimulating story of how Coco had found love in one so inanimate, simple and yet encompassing, only to lose him in the end. Just. hmm, maybe my yearn to relate caused my tears, nonetheless i'm glad i read it, or i would never have realised its beauty. now, to find some cheapo 2nd handbook shop which sells it. call me hypocritical, i don't care! taunt taunt taunt~
i am. i admit it. i've been like this the whole week. just something with my bed which seduces me to it everytime i try to leave. BAH! ^o^ slamslamslamslamdunkdunkd unkdunk. obsessive compulsive!! hehe. sugar fits, cola makes me giggle. i've yet to try out the poprocks myth, but i doubt so, nonetheless it would be fun, besides i haven't had poprocks in a while. its late.
if there's anything ever as rivetting as LOTR. i can't barely wait for it. anxious and nvtheless eager, i'll await another beginning where i can see a mimic. all 11 oscars were inavoidable. predicatable. inadmonishable. my vocab sucks leave me be. but i just ^0^. awesome! :D
"never miss anyone from your past, theres a reason they didn't make it into your future" -anonymous
"life can change anytime, just remember theres no rewind"
i thought these were worth remembering. and more love stuff. evnth i wasn't as seroius as the last time now.
i miss you. i really really do. i yearn sometimes, especially when i know i'm not supposed to. i miss your laugh, you crinkle, ur gait. stupid is my understatement. the only blockade my pride, ego and whatnot. its been so long. i don't know what i'm doing. my actions incomprehensable, my words rubbish. deluding, elusive, anything but coy. i've slit my protective web of lies. arn't u going to save me now? before i'm consumed again, a spider of loneliness and desolute. don't let me go there again. save me.
