haha, u must think, FiNaLLY- a post where she doesn't Whine and Whine about how exhausted she is all the time. ;) oh well, it really been such a great day today. despite some other factors, the class has been making such an effort to gel together, to keep the teachers well. happier. in that sense. and though mr. ho did say tt we aren't the main cause of their desperate want to leave this ridiculous excuse for a JC i still feel that pang of guilt. plus. ms. baey did say that the A3 class in JINXED. can't say how much of tt i believe. but- yeah.
anyhoo. today was just fantastically fantastic! had a FuFiLLING! evening of volleyball! and before tt we even had some time to practice a bit before we played. it was just sooooo enriching! i'm seriously in loveeeee with volleyball-- and its not cause of him, come on, YESTERDAY"S NEWS! HELLO! but seroiusly, its just such a great sport. and if it weren't for the fact tt its already july, i'd quit touch rug RIGHT AWAY. man.. it was so fun.. i got a good serve *yay, and denisee blocked a spike (by vballpro zihui) which i thought was REALLy impressive-- lol, and than while she played against the others me and faye went to just hit the ball arnd with her soccer friend. ugh. i forgot his name again. sparkly eye boy. anyhoo, the highest we got to was 32 continuous volleys, before she had to leave for some concert.. but. it was SO FUN!. and my wrist and forearm might be throbbing with blues and blacks now, but the satisfaction is sure to stay forever. 8)
i'm so going to buy a ball soon. heh. maybe i'll get somebody to teach me.. all the spiking and diving and stuff. :D heh, awesome.
right, another thing tt i had meant to mention in an earlier post but nv got the chance to. well. its simple. AMENDA is certifiably retarded! ahah, but i love her anyway.. are u reading this! you shld feel so honoured! lol.. had a great time with her studying over at BW's macs, thanks for explaining all that TVC/ATC/TC crap to me. heh-- we must study again!
oh oh! one more thing. *drumroll* presenting! SAmUeL's New WeBcoMic! and.... i don't have the addie to get there. but its good i think, i mean for a noob. ahha, i'm sure it'll get better man. work hard. and i know i'm supposed to color. but.yeah... WILL TRY! heh..
hmm.. wat else. i'm tired again, and i gtg bring my dog to poop, and check on my snail colony. so check ya kids later. bah byeee...
if i'm tired everyday and i can feel a panda tail and ears growing outta my butthole and head, i think there's something wrong. i never get my homework done on time, i never start on my revision and i always seem to be sleeping in class. huh. help- i've got to get a P.A. or something. or a motivator or cheerleader or something.. i get so exhausted i fall asleep in my chair so exhausted i get ultra-sensitive to everybody's words and actions, so exhausted i'm falling sick now, blasting my nose into non-existence with my explosive sneezes. ugh. i miss my life. miss hanging out and slacking off. i have a snail colony- it consists of 9 sexually-overcharged snails which [i]do it[/i] everynight if i put them together. they're found at the little patch of grass at below my condo. i'll give them names soon, i do however welcome all suggestions. still stuck in the crisis of v-ball and touchrugby but i think its too late to start socializing all over again, so i'm trying to keep to my decision. wat an emotional struggle ugh. and... ah. perfect place to bitch about how i hate pw.
anyhoo- yeah on a lighter note, thanks for the support u kids, i really appreciate it. esp those who are there to help me through- :) right. and. i might be going to Faith next week if Amenda's finally emotionally prepared heh.. what else.. sor, just tt i'm trying to condense this whole period of non blogging into this one post. so.. well we had a good lit. [latimer] lesson today. the humor was fresh and she had a bright glit to her speech which charmed the whole class- i will be sorry to see her go. and.. well, there's the University Attatchment Program held by JJ and it over at Australia. i would so die to go.. but. guess there are 2 major impediments, 1) i dont' suck tt bad in english 2) i don't have 2,500 bucks dammit. guess, its all about seeing if i can score with the parents for them to sponser me for it. than and.. maybe eating 50cent paus for the next 6 months for recess. we'll see. oh. its late, and i hear the low moan of my econs TYS. work now. play never- later- i'm too tired to laugh. too tired to feel hurt. just too tired.
if ur wondering why i never seem to talk about my family in my blog. its here now. its right at this moment where i feel so much hurt. from the people who are supposed to love me the most- we're anything but close. not one day passes where i feel that omnipresent distaste for me, that less-important feeling, that secular, withdrawn state of being. everyday it weighs me down and it takes so much out of me to just dismiss that feeling and push it to the corners of my brain. but when the corners of my brain are filled with a headache these just flood me and i can feel it so much. every little action is just a part of it, subtle as it may be i can see the lining which preceded it. why is it like that? why am i always second best.. i'm always so used. i'm here when you need to show me off, when you need to create an excuse, when you need to back up your feminine side. but where are you when i need you? i'm too far gone.. u've pushed me too far off to make room for your other more important ones. what am i to you- why can't i see it than, you don't even mean it.
thank god. thank you lord for my friends, for Mg, for Joelyn, for the alliance, especially for denise, for Samuel. if it weren't for them. i don't know how i would still be here. how i would actually be able to take this. thanks you for putting them there to shed so much light into my life, for giving me that love that i can't find sometimes. thank you lord for my father, i love him so much. thank you, and let me be thankful. thankful for what i have and not hunger for what i don't. its all in your plan for me and i understand. amen.
[i]"i died in my dreams reaching out for your hand, my fatal desire.."[/i]
i get so freaked when i listen to ramus' Funeral song, i mean who sings like that! I died in my dreams!? gosh, but the tune is so alluring though. anyhoo.
is this font too big? cause i made it one size larger and eventhough its much more easy to read now the large font seems a little autistic. and i've been getting too many comments on being autistic lately so i don't want to encourge anything. hehe..
well, the limelight of today's blog is jemy's SNYO concert! we were a little bit late, but we got there after running a bit (in heels!) firstly, it was fantastic, just too beautiful for words, it had that feeling which just inspired you so, and filled you with such goodness and beauty and joy that you just wanted to pop. especially the part where the soloist played and during Firebird. i don't care what E.M.P.T.Y says, he's still good. and jeremy was fantabulous too, just that he did look alot like a pau, with his hUgE white coat and his red face.. ahah, kudos koi-man..
right, and after that alot of things that were both whimsical and ludicrous and uplifting and maybe a little bit saddening happened, the night was just a torrent of emotions aha.. first was the HILAROUSLY funny situation we had with the whole concept of going over to embassey and centro to [i]JAM![/i], but darn, somebody forgot her card and so doh, no free drinks.. oh damn. i was oh so upset! hahahhaha... i can't keep it up, it was so funny funny funny. than i heard abt the beer thing before the concert and that just added to making it funnier. it was just LUDICROUS. i'm sure the alliance kids wld agree. either way, nobody goes clubbing in a CARDIGAN and SNEAKERS!
ok. part 2, than we met up with jemy aft the concert and he refused to hug me! ahaha, nah, but i was last, and so i'm holding him to that, little farty-headed pau boy- anyhoo, than andy came along, (he's so cute! faye is so lucky, and he was wearing a OBS shirt again! hahahahahhaha!!!!) and took our faye AWAY! btw, faye if your reading this, pleease go buy him some shirts! :D
well, than we had dinner with the alliance kids at BK but our feet were hurting SO much already so we were kinda hobbling around but we got there and ppl kept ogling idz.. hhaha.. anyway, yeah it was really late by then so idz's dad fetched the 3 guys home and me and denise had to take the mrt back.. oh oh, btw, thanks Tim, for offering to bring us back, but its fine and we didn't reallly get raped at redhill :wink:
right, than by the time i got over to redhill, my mom refuses to fetch me home and there were no more buses left! so its either i hitchhike home, or i slept at the mrt station. but thank GOD, here come denise's cute bro to fetch us home! gosh, he brought her and her mom home first than brought me home in his car. and.. He Is So CuTe. i love his hair. and his voice! sigh. too bad he's yeah him hahaah. he's just so cute and.. hah ok, i think tt's enough gushing. :D
right we took a whole buncha pics on my cam and faye's digi, so i'm so relying on her to put them up sooN! whaha.. right one more thing, yeah i wore a dress ahha. felt so damn feminine. but stupid mistake and i wore a jacket instead of smth thinner over, so i was bloody sweating on the way over to city hall. eh. we'll see when the pictures come out yeah? :roll: on a whole, it was great hahah.. later kids. my eyes are burning from typing too much small print.
its' been a while yeah? anyhoo, i'm really thinking of switching to blogspot now cause tblog is messing up so much.. but then again i doubt i have the dilligence to upkeep it and keep it perky. i mean look at this mess that i'm typing in now! goodness.
anyhoo- well. events yes. alot HAD happened that i did want to blog but kept slipping my mind so i'll see what my goldfish memory can produce.
well. oh! faye had heidi hair haha, i loveee it, its so adorable! and we got tix to Jemy's SNYO concert! yay~ i can't wait, its tomorrow and all the kids are coming! but i'm going to be so unglam cause i have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO WEAR!! i'm thinking potato sack ahah.. :roll: timothy said come in beach wear ! lol.. anyhoo- emm.. oh oh, we had interhouse games and Bikila won the soccer (yay TIMOTHY!) and netball (yay DENISE!) ones! so i think we're in the lead and faye signed us up for the volleyball ones, i really can't wait! but i'm so afraid i'll mess it up cause i can't play v-ball for nuts.
right and- hmm, oh. den's got dan! i love those two kids- i just wish he'd quit being so damn shy! i hope when she gets with him, he can like drive her around and hopefulllly me too lol. well and. i've got training tmr and listening compre and a rugbytest, smth called AGM which i'm freaked about, if i fail it will i have to quit touchrug! oyvey. i didn't know you could have tests like these..
hmm, oh yeah. there was smth i wanted to quote that was so funny from some of the A3 kids -
[i]" I'd rather have no eyes than no hair! "[/i] - Idz Bagio, and the extent of her vanity!
[i]" I'm not a toyboy! "[/i] - Timothy, and his denial of his romps at the back of the hall.
[i]" My ears are bleeding you know! SHwoooossshhh. * insert ear bleeding action*"[/i] - Deniseeeee, after hearing me sing, but i think more cause of eczema boy.
haha. these just kill me everytime i hear it its so hilarious.. anyhoo, ohoh, we have a new GP tutor, and she's a ... hmm, can i say a healthy mix? at least she has the sanity and proper intelligence to dismiss apple's cacophany of retarded/perverse jokes and the ability to dress well. except for her maryjanes.. i can't stand them! they're so flat! haha.. anyway, she's good i think--
wait since we're on the subject of disciplinary educational figures. i would like to say that the principal is an absolute moron. He's ignorantly ridiculous, has the ability to piss EVERYBODY off with his undignified and crude comments, not to mention his primative command of english. WHY has nobody shot him yet!? Everything he says is derogatory and inflammatory, if he as a principal doesn't even have the ability to regulate his teachers and actually finds it neccessary to castigate them in public i think he really is a failure. I mean, the teachers hate him, the students hate him, the only reason he's here is that he surrounds himself with sycopants so as to keep his narcissitic nature fed and than feel all competant and able. What a twat.
okay. glad i finally got that out, its' been repressed for quite some time. well. its early still, round 10 but i think i shld absolutely catch some sleep for my exam tmr. later kids.
had a little time to bum around today cause it was youth day so no skool. so i went around and read a couple of blogs that i had apparently forgotten about. tagged abit here and there and yeah. well-
it never occured to me that thoughts might be so varied and different and so OBTUSELY unorthodox! for everybody- they're pattern of blogging and the words they say and how they take stuff in they're own strides, their mental capacity, how deep they can get, how simple they seem, how matured they seem-
its just. different. queer maybe a little. but definatly hum.. yeah. just expanded my mind a little. its been getting a little fusty. which allows me to think. how come i'm not like that? than allow for the myraid of qns to flow. and now you think-- these are the perfect oppourtunities to just sit and spaz out trying to answer all the questions in ur head.
hummm... now for some random thought:
things ppl my age have done but i haven't. :- ( makes me feel a little unaccomplished, but than again, its all in time i feel)
1. get tatoos 2. gone clubbing 3. blown their whole paycheck on clothes (will try that one day. when i get a job) 4. have a real loving-ful relationship 5. have a totally platonic relationship with a person of the opposite sex (hmm. maybe i do have this) 6. have a bitchy, painful breakup :? 7. catfights (than again..) 8. ridiculously romantic situations (yeah i'm talking abt u, ms. PDA) 9. be a pon-star (i'm too good)
it seems i never seem to have a happy post- all the rest are angsty and troubled and so dismal! maybe its all that awareness of the increasing emotional instability OTHER people are feeling that i belive, gives me like haha, an excuse to be so angsty and whiney. not that its bad or anything. its just the level of acceptance each person might have. and the ability to balance the karma of each..
i don't really have that balance, cause the way i see it is that you can really recover from everything. if it doesn't kill you, don't allow it to. yah, i think that works for me. though that is just for getting over the dark sides. keeping it [i]bright and gay [/i]is something else.
that part i think is all about your brain capacity if not anything else. and psychology. its all in the thinking. if i got enough self-spirit i can turn it around and be all chipper. but if i don't, it'll be a drag-haggy-turdy affair. so i do try try try! to keep it chipper. but yeah. u know.
anyhoo. i have no idea what those first 3 paragraphs meant. its just my sudden threads of thoughts cause my blogs are always so sadistical and bleary. so i figured it time for a lit-ER note. hohum. i watched spiderman 2! yay. it was fantastic.. despite the sigh, front-row-break-neck seats and the CG effects. wow. i think i'll watch it again. with who is the question. :?: gosh. my emoticons are sO limited.
anyhoo.. erm. oh yeah, i finally challenged Samuel to bishibashi. and eh, i say we're both good okay, maybe i'm a little better, but lets not get down to stats here yeah? heh.. hum.. and. ohyeah, skool's started again. though u can't really see the break between last term and this from my posts cause it really didn't seem like one at all. tomorrow's labour day! yay. maybe i'll do smth fun. right. and i got back my CT results. which i guess i think were a bit predictable. i got a B for geog, which is rather disappointing. cause i really want to do S papers for it. so more mugging for me i guess.
and... ugh i flunked econs. but tt was predictable, i had a feeling i was slacking off too much. MORE MUGGING. that's a fantastic solution. maybe i'll just study during labour day tmr. KAP anyone? hmm. and i got a B for GP too. another letdown but that's cause i knew i haven't been reading enough articles and my essay grasp is so weak.. i jz dont' want to mess up my A's like i did my O's so i'm really gonna do this right this time. I"M GOING TO NUS DAMMIT! right. okay. anyway.
i think that's it for the moment. Greece vs. Portugal tonight. I WILL WATCH IT !! go PORTUGAL! you hafta win! do it for me! hahaha... later kids. :D
anyhoo. its everytime i come here i've got so much to say and so little time to say it. so i got to hurry.
today's training was ridiculously ridiculous. its just pissed the shit out of me. hmm. that sounded very disgusting. but yeah. it did. why am i again stuck in the same situation where i'm in a cca where i feel suppressed and dulled by the fact that i can't be as good as i want to be. I'm really bad at touch rugby. i sincerely love the game but i suck. oh so badly. but i really want to get the sports thing on. sigh. i don't want to replay the same parody i lived in GB in sec skool. gosh-
anyhoo- on another note. i've been so dread-ed up lately. the weather ain't helping either- u ever realised how easy it is to be upset and melancholy than to keep that lively perky-nana self? there's so much wrong in my life. and i'm trying so hard to keep it suppressed than break down. AARGHGHHGHARGHHH!!!
damn this all. damn the conscience-pricking teachers. damn the friends that don't act like one. damn my stamina. damn my holiday homework. damn early 174's. damn sexually-overcharged freaks ( not u idz),
