i like to list. but i'm not going to do that today. we've lost a game. got thrashed. i've joined in the planning of a camp. i see potential and fun. than. bought a bed. shld be happy but i'm not.
sigh. torrid of emotions have pushed me over the limit. when it all adds up i'm surprised at how i'm staying afloat.
i can't have happy posts, cause i'm not happy. its hard to see the sun when all these clouds keep hiding it.
argh. i so wanted that bed. it was so beautiful. soo soo beautiful. it just it was as if it was made for me, and i could just see myself falling asleep on it and loving every moment.
practicality vs. beauty affordability vs. lil over budget cute steven vs. nice aunty
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh its such a argh. overload of emotions. i should be grateful. i am. just a lil overwhelmed by all the other factors. i mean argh. i'm being selfish. forget it.
stress stress stress. is an understatement. i'm going into isolation. i haf to get A's. i have to get promoted. this is it.
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky Make a wish, take a chance, make a change And break away Out of the darkness and into the sun But, I won't forget all the ones that I love I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change And break away - Kelly Clarkson,[i] Break Away[/i]
love. love love. love is defined as a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
its everywhere. books, websites, its hard to look at something and not read the word love in it. its all over the place.
but how come nobody seems to be able to find it. we have so much to give but we can't give it to ourselves, and we're in that never-ending search to find some body to give it too. can't live without it. as if it was so near yet just .. OUT of reach, as if its a horrible play on emotions.
takes alot out of you. puts alot into you. uplifts, invigorates, rejuvenates, livens. / squashes, depressess, kills. i love love, i hate love. bloody paradoxical concept. tired of thinking, tired of looking for it, tired of it all.
when we reach a point, people break. we're just teetering on the end now aren't we. feel like .. going away. i'm really tired of this.
i love birthdays! i love it most when its my birthday! hahaah.. had so much fun with the kids. really it was good. ;) first with the pizzahut fiesta with Mg, Joe, Sarah, Sam, Jed, Pow and Jel. and the new improved created (included in the ACES day workout POW WEE STRETCH) ahah. and the oil smearing. i'm still coming after u all if i break out man.. and the food was good the company was great, though it ended kinda early. thanks for the bear guys eventhough i'm already cool , what stay cool? ahahaha.. jk. jk. neenerrr.. than had the eeexxxccrrruuccciiaatttii nngggg 4hrs of econs which was haha not that bad after all. the kids sang happybirthday in the middle of the lecture! man too bad mr. ho din singalong :lol: anyhoo, guys THANKS! i love the ripcurl bag, the ALLBLACKSSHOEBAG (wow!) and the fantastic VOLLEYBALL! gosh eventhough its just tattered now! eh. but it was great! played vball till it fell off the balcony, than captains', and than hung out by the pool. ( ah really shld haf gone and messed with the couple lah! hahaha) ate and went up to my room to hang out. dammit, now i'm freaked out by my red mogul!!!! shld have stuffed it into tim's bag before he left. :twisted: than we had some scream-tastic ps2 playing ahah, never know tt dynasty warrior could get so high-pitched hahaa.. than faye kept losing and i kept winning woohooo! hahha. i love birthday luck! than my bro sent them home! wow. miracle eh, its his first good deed ahaha.. but i think he just did it cause he though like den and faye was cute or smth.. ahha.. now i'm tired and dirty and i figure i'm going to fall asleep typing this... soooooo...................... YAY. i love u guys! thanks for an awesome birthday. u all rock! :)
ps. to all u kids who sent me those sweet b-day msgs, thanks! i really appreciate it !!
great. the beta version f**ked up on me again. so i'll just stick to this next time.
anyhoo. since this is my second time writing this i'm usually more disgruntled but give me a while and i'll start being nice.
right.so here ends my blog-hiatus cause i figured its not fair tt i keep other ppl's blog and its always interesting and i'm just slacking off here. not that anybody really reads this right? heh. yeah i'm just asking for the attention here .. :)
anyhoo-- well lots have happened. for a brief recap-
1) i've [u][b]FINALLY[/b][/u] plucked up the courage to go for v-ball training. thanks to the support of faye, denisee and peiyan *thanks kids*. its soooo fun, its really more than i thought it would be and it really kills the tighs. had to leave early though.. but nonetheless. there's another one tmr and i'm so going.
2) I'm determined NOT to quit touch. i'm going to by ALL means try to juggle both the CCAs. i hope i don't accidentally forgoe my studies in the process. but i really love joe, amenda, peisuan, elaine, nuru argh, the WHOLE BUNCH. can't leave them.. argh. dilemma again. sigh. wish they'd all join v-ball with me ahah..
3) i don't want to go to an oldfolks home when i'm old and sick. to all readers. pls just kill me. bring me to canada or smth and bring on the euthanasia. went to the sree nayanthanananana smth house for the sick and aged. and.. its really sad.. i mean. its not sad as in pity sad, but sad as in how do i help them sad. its just. man. I WISH I LEARNED HOKKEIN or CANTONESE or TAMIL or smth man. argh, was trying to communicate with them and cld barely stutter anything. ended up stumbling over the same few words of " sek bao meh" or " mang mang jia" which all have something to do with eating. argh!!! but yeah. man.. it was really just... i just hope they're happy and they get to leave that place soon. will pray for them.
4) nxt topic. em.. its the holis now. and promos are in :cry: less than 20 days i think. my revision.. is a mess. i think i'm going to load up on caffine tonight and just mug mug mug mug mug. right. and.... wat.. hmm yes! i would like to wish any J2's be they JJC, AC, SA or whatever. whoever reads this crap ass blog anyway, GOOD LUCK FOR YOUR A's!!!! it'll pay off if u studied. definately. esp for him. yeah. YOU CAN DO IT! k, hows abt a verse (J1's for promos, J2 for A's, poly kids for exams)- " [i]Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." [/i] - Phillippians 3:6-7
just study, take the tests and get ur A's. no problem eh kids? yeah. MUG MUG MUG! CUP CUP CUP! :lol: ahah.
what else.. um. oh that's right! [b][u]Happy belated Birthday SAI FENG HUI[/u][/b] aka, FAYE! or fayefaye or ahfaye or yeah. the list goes on. faye's just such an easy rhyming name. well, hope u had a good one. and sor if this is a little late! haha..
wait. oh we've come to the MOST IMPORTANT PART! right. in just. * counts off fingers* oh 2 days! its [b][u]MY BIRTHDAY[/u][/b]! WOOOOHOoooooo!!! oh yeah. right, and i'm sharing it with my [u][b]MOM[/b][/u], [b][u]MEENATCHI[/u][/b] (natchi, natchi), [u][b]JOYCE[/b][/u]!, and yeah that's it. :D man. i'm so psyched. ahah.. oh. btw, happy birthday to Jedi, nice knowing u kid! and happy pre-birthday to NIcholas! i figured he'll get a hangover the next morning. so PREP the tomato juice for the next morning! hah.. i love SEPTEMBER! :wink: man its just bursting with b-days. heh..
what else.. sigh. i wish the A's weren't here yet.
