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de·press &nbs p; ( P ) Pronunciation Key (d-prs)
tr.v. de·pressed, de·press·ing, de·press·es
1. To lower in spirits; deject.
today i learnt how people can sink so deeply into depression and have no idea how to leave.today i realized how the steady tower of negatives can pile up until it finally falls ontop of you. today i realized that i'm such an idiot.
today i also realized that i hate OGLs, and orientation and all that stupid shit.
is my hate justified? prolly not.
were they just at the wrong place at the wrong time? prolly so.
does that stop me from hating them? definately not.
my reasons:
1) The ludicrous amount of stars (paper, cardboard and what not) which spray the school.
I understand the whole theme is constellations, and i frankly think the canteen has been done up beautifully. BUT. WHen there is an EXORBITANT superfluity of crudely cut, half-assedly painted stars, or very obviously tacky buy-me-cheap-in-bulk stars you know its become overkill. i know the time limit was constricting but is the best you can do?! if you can't do it, DON'T. (i say this justifiably because i bet that i could do it up so much better. but I REFUSE to because i'm ashamed of this school. am i ashamed of myself? YES, but i look towards a brighter future and a day at which i can look back and slap myself for making a mess of my O's but congratulate myself for pulling myself out of it mess.)
2) Another ridiculous entity, the propagandistic banner and posters ridgidly set up all over the school. "LIFE BEGINS HERE", "WE WANT YOU(included is ugily drawn finger)", i remember even more but was too disgusted to note them down. i'll pen them in my mind and redo this post tmr with the details. HAVE I FRIGGIN GONE TO CHINA AND BECOME COMMUNIST? and its not like its a take-a-dig-at-communism-h umor, its desperate, vehement,abject pleas, for those who will eventually leave the school for a better one to stay. Their only holder? propagandistic elements as they try to herd-poison you into believing JJ was a god-send and that you have to stay because LIFE FUCKIN BEGINS HERE!. omdf.
3) the belief that if they dedicate they're lives to this school, its will back them up in the end.
CASE STUDY: NG KENG EE (APPLE).
- Hopeless devotion to council and has put in more passion than Eyes Wide Shut, more blood than a bloodbank, more sweat than himself, and enough time to go to the moon and back.
- The result? a wreck who is so tired he falls asleep in class (even the important ones, all the time), so disoriented (note pun) that he has a tendency to bang into door because he forgot he hasn't opened it yet, and assignments no, no, A MOUNTAIN of assignment undone, uncompleted and untouched. Am i worried for him? yes, would it help any? NO.
its mind boggling how this happened. maybe they'll take him back as a janitor when he FLUNKS his A's.
am i being mean? no, i never intended to, i'm just telling it as i see it.
do these people do it because they really love the school? i remember asking Apple just how much he loves JJ once, and all he said was " its alright". JEEZ LOUISE.
somehow i think that these people are only OGLs because they are extremely inconfident in their relatoinships at this point of time. Thus they find refuge in the belief that by joining this mindless mass of GROUPIES, they'll be safe, safe from the social pressures that they will eventually need to face.
wow! isn't that how gangs occur? hmm!! fucktards.
4) living by the dogma that all you need is song and dance to make life good again! like oh wow! upset? sing a fucking song! demoralized? do a fucking cheer! that never fails!
and the really really naieve understanding that EVERBODY LOVES ME! I'm a OGL! omdf. WTH is wrong with these people?
i feel so bad right now that i'm running them off like that but i can't help it. right now i'm so pissed i'm going to say it and you can't fucking stop me.
there i've said it. pissed? go ahead and be. i told you if i hate i'll hate.
part2:
the recent spit of decisions made by the principal, that has made me feel that he's as smart as a walnut.
> prohibition of the use of plastic bags by the canteen vendors in an attempt to limit the amount of trash in the canteen.
< result: the vendors switched to firstly cumbersome wax paper which could not hold wet items or hot items properly (agaragar, paus), and eventually to paper bags (enough said) that sure solved everything.
> the recent proposal of the construction of a BEER GARDEN in JJC. i don't even want to elaborate on this point.
> rumors (i know i shouldn't believe them but if you're respectable, rumors wouldn't even be able to stand in the first place, jeez what does that say bout your capability?) that he brought his mistress to play badminton with other teachers quite publicly on a certain thursday.
> changing the school motto to SDSM (self discipline, self motivation), now. this is a totally personal point, and many will prolly oppose this thinking but its just how i feel. Now, i've got nothing against SDSM, in fact i've been trying to instill that in myself, but somehow i feel that its so ironic that its SELF-discipline and SELF-motivation. ironic that for something that you're supposed to do by yourself you need the school to tell it to you. and i just get this ominous feeling that by making the motto SDSM, we've just made ourself even more police-state-ish. hmm, so what we're like a boot camp now?
> his ever present inability to speak proper English. i know i'm no professional myself but at least i have the ability to form proper full sentences which make sense. I also know that his Chinese is actually quite impressive and he's really trying quite hard but just how do you expect to learn a student's respect when you can't even communicate with them properly?!?!?! yes sir, China is a blooming market to delve into, but its NOT THE ONLY COUNTRY!
ARGH! there its all out. do i feel guilty? quite a bit actually for all that generalization and lack of empathy but its freedom of speech and until something/someone changes my point of view, i'm not going to let myself get dragged down by it.
will i get over it? indefinately.
do i hate JJC? right now, extremely, but at least that took most of my anger out of me. i'll start being more optimistic now. till than. i condemn all OGLs to the fiery pits of Hell and sincerely hope that (i was going to say find redemption but because i'm still quite upset, i'm going to say-->) that they become dumb from too much cheering, and flunk their A's. okay that was real mean, so i'm going to change it to. um, like.. you know what, no, i'm not changing it i hope they do. i'm being real bitchy now, SO?
than PROVE ME WRONG MAN. DO IT, Do it if you love JJ so much.
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Brandon Boyd
look pretty happy picture! more more!
we did that! actually idza did most of it, but yeah! pretty!
